I'm a fan of poorly planned social experiments. For the first fifteen minutes of my drive home from work yesterday morning, I flipped off every person who looked into my car. People got really really angry. Okay, so maybe I was just being an asshole. Needless to say I stopped when some jackass redneck with about 4 teeth left in his head hawked a huge loogie right at my windshield before merging forcefully into my lane without signalling. Major example of not thinking things through. Sometimes I just feel like being an asinine, self-centered prick, and damn the consequences.
That got me thinking though. I remember as a teenager I'd cut school, burn one and watch promiscuous teenage girls on shows like 'Ricki Lake' and 'Geraldo' talk about wanting to have a child so they'd have someone around that loved them unconditionally. And recently friend of mine - mind you, someone I really respected up until now - told me she wanted to have a child for the same reason. Really?
First off, have you ever met a teenager? Shit, do you remember being one? Let me ask you this as well - do you love your own parents unconditionally?
Right about now you're probably protesting - 'But I'm gonna raise my baby right' (that Ricki Lake show really stayed with me).
Well I have a news flash for you ladies... That's at least as selfish as my driving around giving everyone the finger.
You're basically handing your unborn kid an extra basket of issues before the world even gets to take a crack at it. "Welcome to the world, little Johnny - I'm gonna cripple you emotionally before you can even talk. Welcome to the world of personality disorders. Get ready to fail," is basically what you're saying. Wake up cookie - kids learn by imitation. Who the hell is gonna teach it what love looks like if you don't? And how the hell can you teach it to give something you yourself obviously don't know how to?
Want my advice? Of course you don't. You're gonna get it anyway. Get into therapy. Learn how to love yourself first. Then think about how YOU can give love to your kid. That's your job.
And if you absolutely must have unconditional love and affection - get a dog.
